The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you
Money can't buy happiness...But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they're OK, you're it.
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad cheque.
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Paul's Law: You can't fall off the floor.

Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.